Brendon Lloyd has done a scathingly funny letter from the RIAA to an alleged illegal downloader for McSweeney’s that’s really worth reading. Check it out:

This is your notice that you will be sued for one of the following:

  1. Downloading a song from the Internet.
  2. Singing the “Happy Birthday” song.
  3. Other.
  4. None of the above.

If you would prefer not to be stripped of your home and dignity, please send us $3,750 in the return envelope. If your toddler has been named in this lawsuit, explain to them that the fruits of their labor as an adult will go to pay a debt that will ultimately lead to their death at a young age due to their inability to afford medical insurance. Toddlers never understand that, but they’ll get the point if you make them cry. If your household pet has been named in this lawsuit, it will be euthanized.