Dear Capital One,

Thanks for sending me that really nifty Platinum card with the modestly hefty limit and the decent APR. That was really nice of you.

But why do you have to make it so hard to do a balance transfer between my old Capial One card and my new one? Is it really necessary for me to write a check from you to you? Why can’t I call you or go online and get something like that taken care of?

And why in god’s name can’t I attach more than one card to my online account? Is it really necessary for me to have a separate account for each card? Wasn’t the internet supposed to make shit like managing one’s finances easy?

I keep running into walls where I’m expecting doors and it’s getting a bit frustrating. Maybe you should spend less of my APR on David Spade not being funny and more of it on improving your customer experience. A little would go a long way.

Thanks for your time,